~Once Upon A Time...~
Random Tales of BLURSH, Fexible, & Pyro
(*Some names have been changed. *Some of these tales may be loosely based on a true story. *Do not try any stunts or actions at home. *Loss of brain cells may occur when reading these tales.)ONCE UPON A TIME... in the great, big, wondrous land of Nue Yourke, BLURSH slept comfortably in her plushie bed of goodness. To give you a visual, imagine a very, very large tissue box with a pillow (and cute, little BLURSH) inside. There slept BLURSH at 2:00 A.M., dreaming about something random or B7, when in came the loud thumping of feet.
Closer and closer the footsteps came, mock thunder, it would seem. Attached to those bouncing footsteps was Pyro. With overeager excitement, the nocturnal Pyro sprung atop of BLURSH's plushie bed of goodness and continued bouncing, this time on top of BLURSH herself.
"BLURSHychu! BLURSHychu!" Pyro insisted, her voice higher from excitement.
Pretending that it was only a random dream, BLURSH ignored the bruises and continued dreaming.
"BLURSHychu! C'mon! I have exciting news!" Pyro persisted once more.
Finally it hit BLURSH that someone was vigorously jumping on her and that it could save her own life to get that someone off. Opening her eyes, BLURSH lifted her arm up and forced Pyro off the bed. Pyro landed on the floor with a thump.
"Squee!" Pyro yelled, annoyed by the bruises now pending on her backside. "BLURSHychu! I have news!" Pyro chorused once again.
Too late. BLURSH had already turned over in her plushie bed of goodness to start her sleep cycle again.
This time Pyro bounced over to her friend's face and poked it.
"Pokey, pokey, Pokémon! Gotta poke 'em all! Gotta poke 'em all!" Pyro started singing.
"What!?" BLURSH sprang out of bed and roared. "I'm trying to sleep here, Pyro-chan!" She snapped at the prodding fingers with her teeth. Pyro pulled back.
Pyro looked sad, yet didn't stop bouncing. "You were sleeping?" Pyro innocently asked.
"Yes! What did you think I was doing? Meditating horizontally?" BLURSH rubbed her eyes and sat up, facing Pyro's large chibi-like eyes that sparkled with tears.
"I'm sorry," Pyro sniffled, realizing that it was sin number 66 to wake up one from a dream of randomness and an offense to bounce on one's backside without prior written consent--thus was BLURSH's rules.
"Tis okay," BLURSH smiled realizing that if it weren't 2:00 A.M., she would most likely let this incident slide. "What's your news, Pyro-chan?" BLURSH inquired, knowing that the sooner Pyro spilled the news, the sooner BLURSH could return to her random dreams on her plushie bed of goodness.
"Ehunno," Pyro shrugged.
BLURSH's eye twitched with irritation as her bruised back swelled. Had she really just gotten beaten up over nothing?
"Curse my short term memory." Pyro said, her steps stopped bouncing.
"Oh, great," BLURSH sarcastically inserted. "You don't remember this painful--er, I mean, exciting news?" She let out a deep breath.
"Curse my short term memory." Pyro repeated, looking around to try to find the reason she'd barged in before. She looked back at BLURSH's glassy eyes. "Hey, BLURSH! What are you doing up?"
BLURSH twitched again, then started to answer the pointless question but was cut off by Pyro.
"Curse my short term memory." Pyro honestly said, twirling an envelope between her fingers. "Hey, BLURSH! What are you doing u--"
"You've already said that, Pyro-chan! What--?" BLURSH looked at the envelope in Pyro's hand. "Did your news pertain to that nifty envelope, Py?" BLURSH raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah! That's what I've been trying to tell you! Duh!" Pyro resumed her bouncing, not missing a beat. "I got accepted to Yale!" She shouted.
BLURSH nodded, remembering how Pyro had applied. Thinking about hitting her friend over the head with a rolling pin would have to wait until later, BLURSH supposed.
"Did you already read it?" BLURSH asked, pointing at the envelope.
"Nope, I just skimmed it. But, it was definitely an acceptance letter! Aren't you excited?" Pyro asked.
"Yes. All the short term memory geniuses go there. You'll fit right in." BLURSH smirked. She then yawned, too tired for words.
"Really? Aw, thanks, BLURSH!" Pyro hugged her friend. "Let's have a party right now!" Pyro began bouncing again.
BLURSH tucked herself under the sheets once more. "Yeah, let's. Except it'll be tomorrow." BLURSH turned off her lights with a clap and then demanded to Pyro to "Get Out!"
Pyro took the obvious hint (or to some dense among us, subtle hint) and jumped out of the room and into the hallways, perhaps to find more people to awake.
Before long, BLURSH fell back to sleep, this time dreaming of B7.
When morning time finally arrived, BLURSH hesitated when it came to waking. She was exhausted from the disturbance the night before and soreness ran all up her back. Finally, she convinced herself to get out of bed, stretch, put her bathrobe on, and walk to the kitchen to get some breakfast.
"Ow..." BLURSH quietly moaned, as she rubbed her back and headed closer to the kitchen.
Then, the sound of Pyro's sad voice caught BLURSH's attention. She stopped just before entering through the kitchen's swinging door. She stood there listening to the conversation inside. (Some would call this spying, eavesdropping, or stalking in certain cases. BLURSH prefers to never use those words, though, and would call this "secondhand education." And, BLURSH loves education, so she takes this very seriously.)
BLURSH heard a spoon clatter to the kitchen floor and Fexible's voice say, "Sorry, I got it."
"Ah, so Fexxyberry's back from vacation. Must have gotten back last night..." BLURSH thought to herself.
"I'm such a fool," BLURSH heard Pyro say with a heavy heart. "I get so excited over these things, but for what? Just to get disappointed again." Pyro stopped talking to blow her nose with a tissue.
"There, there." Fexible said. She must have been patting Pyro's back to stop her from crying too much.
"Oh, man. And, now we've run out of tissues!" Pyro wailed. Now, for some random reason, Pyro started bawling her eyes out like she was hoping for enough tears to take a bath in. BLURSH found this a foolish thing to do when you've run out of tissues, so she reached in the fuzzy pockets of her bathrobe to see if she had a pack of tissues.
Jackpot! She had a pack. Now, she figured, she could swoop in the kitchen, give Pyro the tissues, console her, and get her to stop leaving wet tears all over her furniture.
Just as BLURSH was going to enter the kitchen, though, she heard Pyro speak again. She froze in the doorway to "educate" herself once more.
Pyro's voice echoed in BLURSH's ears. "BLURSH will be so disappointed in me. I got her all excited for me for nothing." Pyro lamented.
Then, Fexible voice spoke back. "But, now we can be excited for BLURSH, right?" Fexible stopped talking for a second. When she started to say something again, her voice was higher and nervous. "Which acceptance letter did you say it was?"
"Acceptance letter?" BLURSH whispered to herself. "Excited for BLURSH...?" She then remembered a bet that her and Fex had made a while back. She grinned.
"Yale University." Pyro replied to Fexible.
"What?" Fex said, a little surprised. "Yale accepted her? You sure that didn't say Clown College?" Fex started talking faster.
BLURSH now knew what was going on and started laughing to herself. Then, she pushed the door open and looked Fex in the eye.
"Alrighty, Fexxy! Pay up! You owe me $50." BLURSH said, holding her palm out to get paid.
"No! Fifty bucks was for Harvard. It was $40 for Yale." Fex argued.
Pyro looked from Fex to BLURSH and back again. "What's going on, guys?" She asked, confused.
Fex looked Pyro in the eyes. "We made a bet," she said.
"Bet? What are you talking about?" Pyro asked, but she was ignored as Fex and BLURSH started bickering again. "Hold up!" Pyro shouted. "Sit down. Explain." She commanded.
BLURSH sat down obediently and started to explain. (The reader can use their epic imagination to simulate flashbacks at this point in time.)
BLURSH began. "A few months ago when we all were filling out college applications, Fex and I wanted to make things interesting. We both knew which schools we wanted to go to but applying for several would be more fun."
Fex continued. "BLURSH wanted to go to that fancy music school for rock stars. And, I wanted to go to the local art school. The thing is we were both sure we'd get accepted to those schools, but we began to wonder if we'd applied for places like Harvard, Yale, or Julliard, if we'd even get close."
"So..." BLURSH said. "We wrote letters and sent in applications to those three schools--and one to a clown college in Miami Beach, just for kicks. The bet came in when I said, 'I bet you I'll get accepted to one of those schools.' "
"And, I said, 'You're on.' " Fex replied. "We would pay the other $50 if that person got an acceptance letter from Harvard. Forty dollars was for Yale and $30 for an audition at Julliard."
BLURSH inserted, "And, $1 would get paid to the person who got into clown college." BLURSH chuckled. "Looks like this bet was worth it."
Pyro looked back and forth at the two. "You guys are nuts!" Pyro laughed. "Here there are people that'd really love to get into those schools and to you it's a joke!" Pyro got up and hugged them. "Ah, my crazy friends."
BLURSH and Fexible exchanged glances and then smiled. Fex took $40 out of her wallet and smacked it on the table.
BLURSH took it and put it in her fuzzy pocket. "Thank you," she said in a singsong voice. "Hey, did you ever get an acceptance letter back, Fex?" She asked.
Fex shook her head no. "Just from the art school, not from the other four."
"Hmm." BLURSH said, feeling guilty for taking the poor kid's money. But, a bet is a bet.
A honking outside made everyone jump. Pyro turned around to look out of the window.
"Hey! The mail is here." Pyro stated. She got up and headed for the door. "I'll grab it," she told them.
As BLURSH and Fexible waited for Pyro to return, they stared at each other until they both started laughing.
"Yup, I think Yale would love to have us goofballs." BLURSH enthused.
Just then Pyro ran back into the kitchen.
"A letter for you..." She handed Fex a colorful envelope. "A letter for you..." She gave BLURSH a black envelope. "And, a letter for me!" Py smiled and began tearing the envelope to get the paper inside. She pulled out a rectangular piece of paper and her eyes nearly fell out of her head. "Oh, my gosh! Guess what?"
BLURSH and Fex looked up. "What?" They synchronized.
"This is a check for $50,000 from that contest I entered last week. The contest for funniest comic book."
"I don't remember that." Fex said, puzzled.
"I do." BLURSH said. "You were on vacation, remember?" She reminded Fex.
"Oh, yeah." Fex nervously chuckled. "Wow, Py! That's awesome. What was your comic book about?"
Pyro smiled. "The three of us. I called it 'Once Upon A Time... the tales of BLURSH, Fexible, Pyro.' "
"What a great name!" BLURSH encouraged. "Sounds familiar." She said to herself.
"This is great! Now, I can fulfill my dream of making comic books!" Pyro started bouncing again. "So, what's your mail for?" Pyro asked BLURSH, curious of the black envelope.
"I got accepted to Musical Training Institute!" BLURSH beamed.
Fex lit up. "That's your rock star school, huh, BLURSH?"
"Cool!" Pyro congratulated her friend.
"Yeah. The school is sponsored by all sorts of rock 'n roll legends, and it has the highest scores in the country for a music school." BLURSH hugged her envelope.
Then, BLURSH and Pyro looked at Fexible's letter.
"What's yours say?" Pyro asked.
Fexible looked at the envelope. "Hmm. It's from Florida. Maybe my grandpa sent me a letter. I don't know."
"Well, open it up and share it with the class!" BLURSH joked.
Fex took a colorful sheet of paper from the envelope out. Her eyes quickly scanned it.
"Oh, c'mon!" Fex grumbled.
"What?" Pyro and BLURSH asked, on the edge of their seats.
"I got accepted to clown college," Fex mumbled.
Pyro and BLURSH sprang from their seats and burst out laughing. Pyro started bouncing and singing as BLURSH went over to see Fex's letter.
"Haha!" BLURSH laughed. "It says, 'We knew you would take college studies at Bobo and Binky's Clown College seriously when we saw your picture. You look like the right student for us--tall, thin, colorful, flexible, and goofy. Have a funny day!' " BLURSH read. "Did you hear that? They called Fexible flexible?" BLURSH pinched Fex's cheek. "I'll get you a dollar later, okay?"
"Stop it." Fex growled, her cheeks blushing red.
BLURSH and Pyro hugged Fex.
"We both love ya!" Pyro hugged Fex again.
"All right, stop clowning around, you two!" BLURSH joked. "Let's have cake for breakfast!"
"No! Pie!" Fex and Py said together, laughing. Their laughter chorused throughout the house.
And, so they ate pie on that exciting morning in the great, big, wondrous land of Nue Yorke.
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